Paul Cales was born in Detroit, built in Chicago, and lived in a cardboard box under the Wrigley Field's bleacher section for decades. Growing up on the tough streets, Paul never had a chance to excel in high school due to his frequent stays in Juvenile Detention. Consequently, he won the national Idiot Award for being the first student in the United States to have a negative score on his college prep tests

Working with his best friend's uncle Joey "The Joker" Liguinni, Paul worked his way up through waste management consulting to land a highly desired union representative job. After an unexplained fall from a twelve-story building, Paul lived in a semi-coma on cat food and Snicker Bars. He persevered with incredible diligence, and Irish Whiskey took intravenously.

The significant change in his life came after his second stint in prison. Having found God, Paul entered Evangel University to study the bible. He buckled down, and his faith grew tremendously. After six years of hard work, the university coerced Paul to heal lepers and raise the dead for ticket sales. Disappointed, he left the university to climb Mount Everest with a 40-inch digital television to seek spiritual counsel from the Dalai Lama. While watching The Godfather with his holiness, Paul had the vision to make movies.

Leaving Columbia after studying film and decadent celebrity lifestyles, Paul moved his family across the country to Hollywood. After winning a warehouse of Oscar Awards, the jealous Meryl Streep ran over Paul with her Range Rover.

Paul is so glad to be alive, and he can't wait until he can walk again.